The Essays
The Gist of It™ is a weekly essay series that exposes what high functioning actually costs. It gives capable people language for what they've been carrying, and clarity about what to do next.
They are organized in the following six categories - please scroll down for descriptions of each:
Leadership From the Inside
The Hidden Cost of High Functioning
Staying Intact Under Pressure
Repair and Relational Courage
Knowing and Being Known
The Self Beneath the Self
Browse through a category' carousel below by using the arrows to the top right of the images. Or click on the category’s title to pull up all essays in that filter. Start anywhere that calls to you.
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Leadership From The Inside
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The Hidden Cost Of High Functioning
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Staying Intact Under Pressure
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Repair and Relational Courage
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Knowing and Being Known
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The Self Beneath the Self
✳︎ Leadership From The Inside ✳︎ The Hidden Cost Of High Functioning ✳︎ Staying Intact Under Pressure ✳︎ Repair and Relational Courage ✳︎ Knowing and Being Known ✳︎ The Self Beneath the Self
The Hidden Cost of High Functioning
Competence is a gift. It is also, for many capable people, a kind of shield — one that keeps caring at a distance and exhaustion invisible. These essays name what high functioning actually costs, and what it takes to stay effective without hollowing yourself out in the process.
Leadership From The Inside
Leadership at the senior level demands more than competence, vision, or strategic clarity. These essays explore what leadership actually requires from the inside: staying grounded and ethically clear when systems pressure you toward conformity, using power in ways that expand your information field, and leading with the kind of deep regard for others that builds trust. Drawing on more than 25 years of research with executives and senior leaders, this is the work no leadership program ever quite taught.
Repair and Relational Courage
Every meaningful relationship involves hurt, misunderstanding, and the need to find a way back. These essays address the harder relational moments: accountability, power, loss. They show what it takes to stay connected without losing yourself in the process.
Staying Intact Under Pressure
When systems, groups, or other people pull you away from your own center, staying yourself requires more than good intentions. These essays explore boundaries, self-betrayal, agency, and the quiet discipline of remaining recognizably yourself when everything around you is pulling in other directions.
Knowing and Being Known
Most of us are more skilled at managing how we appear than at letting ourselves be genuinely seen. These essays explore what it actually takes to be known, and why that vulnerability is the foundation of every relationship worth having.
The Self Beneath the Self
Beneath every role, every identity, and every story you tell about yourself, something remains constant. These essays explore awareness, inner authority, and the relationship with yourself that underlies everything else. This is the foundation from which genuine leadership and genuine living both begin.
